Sacred Love: When the Divine Becomes Distorted

There is a quiet place inside, a hollow, a hush… where you’ve learned to hide your softness, your too-muchness, your ache to be met. A place where invisibility once felt like safety. But what happens when sacred love finds its way there? This piece is a tender unraveling… of the places we disappear to, and the holy tremble that begins when love dares to see us anyway.

Hiding in Safety Before Sacred Love

Sometimes the safest place in the world is the one where no one can see you.

This place where you hide, you are safe and unseen. This is the place you dwell when you don’t have to worry about whether someone will like you, judge you, shame you, reject you… you are not seen here, you are not met here.

There’s no chance of real intimacy or connection here, but here, your nervous system has respite. From the hypervigilance. The people-pleasing. The shape-shifting. Constant scanning and needing to be seen. Here, you are unmet…but you’re safe.

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The Arrival of Sacred Love

Something in you had softened already. A quiet prayer, a tiny surrender. Sacred love didn’t appear by chance… it answered a call you didn’t even know you made.

Then along comes sacred love. Someone who lifts up the rock and says, “Hi, how are you?” They reach the sea bed where you often dwell, along with the depths. Your too-muchness is safe in these waters. Far from the shallow ones, safe from prying eyes.

Energetically asking, prodding, poking, shaming… shifting seems to cease in these deep waters where you hide.

But suddenly there’s a person here with you.

Someone who sees you…

Who has travelled quite far to find you!

When Sacred Love Feels Unsafe to the Nervous System

The usual knee-jerk response is to sabotage things. Throw a spanner in the works. This is too good, and your nervous system protests.

It feels like drowning. Your body remembers something unsafe in something so good.

Choosing a New Way to Receive Sacred Love

But you do something different this time. You have new tools in your arsenal… emotional intelligence, nervous system awareness, and inner safety… tools you never had access to before.

And this time, every time you feel yourself on the cliff edge, you talk yourself down. You put down your spanner, the one you would usually throw into the works. And this time, you say to your nervous system, “Be calm.”

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We are going to do something different. We are going to meet all the scared parts of yourself and love them back into wholeness.

You’re not going to abandon yourself this time. You’re going to do the work that scares you… the inner work of meeting sacred love. Of loving, not without the absence of fear, but with the presence of courage.

Sacred Love as a Mirror for Healing

And with each moment that you look deeply into your beloved’s eyes, you witness your fears come to the surface.

You watch the moments in you that want to flinch at this sacred witnessing. You watch the scared parts of you that want to run from something that feels so exposing.

You witness your fears, and you tell them, “Be calm.”

Reverence and Restoration in Sacred Love

This sacred love is patient. It doesn’t raise its voice. It affirms your worth. It is kind. It is true. It feels pure. Even physical intimacy is elevated. You are not just made love to… you are revered. Held as both the altar and the temple. The deepest parts of you are being met.

The Old Pattern and the Men Who Couldn’t Love

There was an emotionally unavailable version of you… the part of you that longed for connection but didn’t feel worthy enough to receive it. So you sabotaged it.

Through drama.

Through chaos.

Through choosing partners who were also wounded… emotionally unavailable, who would erode away at your self-worth.

These were the types of men who prevented your softening. And like in some inverted Orwellian alternate reality where up meant down and black meant white, you learnt that chaos meant safety.

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When Sacred Love Allows You to Soften

But then this love that expands you comes…

The one that allows you to sail deep into your inner caves where the abandoned self within you dwelt, waiting to taste the kind of love that you believed was not for you. One that is enriching, deep, loving, pure, and allows you to explore parts of yourself that were once suppressed by emotional violence.

Unsafe men.

The ones that took and took.

That wanted your radiance but flinched at the responsibility of loving, containing, and protecting the feminine.

The kind that forced you into hardness, that taught you protection through tension. And yet, a part of you still braced for shadows of the collapse. But this new love allowed you to soften.

When Sacred Love Collapses

And after what felt like a glimpse at the possibility of eternal sunshine, you start to notice that instead of you sabotaging intimacy, you witness it in the one who once met you with courage and consciousness.

Suddenly, truth gives way to distortion and the sacred becomes polluted…

Not because love left, but because alignment did.

You held a vision. Not just of the love, but of the life it could build.

And in time, you saw he no longer held it with you.

That’s when the sacred began to dissolve.

Diamond-Encrusted Crumbs of Sacred Love

The part of you that braced for the other shoe to drop… the you that didn’t fully step into the season where love comes easily, effortlessly, and without agitation… she notices.

You didn’t fully trust that it was safe to receive. You defaulted to your expectations of crumbs. But this time, they became diamond-encrusted crumbs.

The Sacred Love That Lives Within You

And so, you learn that even sacred love can become distorted when one… or both… cannot hold its weight.

But the collapse doesn’t mean the love wasn’t real. It means the container was too fragile. It means that someone, somewhere, stopped choosing the truth.

And maybe, this time, it wasn’t you.

You didn’t sabotage it. You stayed present, brave, soft. You met yourself when it mattered most.

And now, as the waters still, you emerge… not untouched, but unbroken.

Because the sacred lives in you, not in the one who couldn’t meet it.

And next time sacred love comes, it will not need to be rescued. It will arrive clean. True. Able to hold all of you without flinching.

And you’ll no longer brace.

You’ll open.

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External Resources You May Also Love:

• What Is Emotional Intelligence? The Complete Guide
• Understanding Attachment Styles in Adult Relationships