Discover why self-worth is crucial for personal growth and fulfillment. Explore the complexities surrounding self-worth and learn how to overcome the obstacles that make it seem difficult. Uncover the three types of self-worth and gain valuable insights into building a healthy sense of self. Be inspired by discovering the benefits that come from embracing your self-worth and achieve remarkable success. Start your journey towards a confident, empowered, and fulfilled life.
Society places a considerable amount of emphasis on external validation and material success. It is the oil that keeps the cogs of our materialist society turning but why do we let ourselves get swept up in this superficial way of measuring our own self worth?
Extrinsic worth refers to the value we place on ourselves based on external factors such as wealth, status, or achievements. In this article we explore the nuances between intrinsic and extrinsic self worth and how knowing your worth could be the key to self empowerment and unlocking new levels of achievement in every area of your life.
Why is self worth important?
There is a considerable amount of research that demonstrates that self worth is responsible for our mental health and general sense of well being. People whose self worth is higher on the scale are less likely to suffer with psychiatric disorders, this is evident when measured against people with lower self worth.
Research shows that a person with high self worth is less affected by negative experiences and exhibit lower brain activity when met with disturbing stimuli.
What makes this especially interesting is that science has concluded that self-worth is literally predictive and not an outcome variable for success and well-being in life domains such as relationships, work, and health.
In laymen terms, what this means is that self-worth predicts success and it is not success that dictates self-worth. This provides an insightful key – your self-worth is not determined by your accomplishments or failures, rather your success or failure is predicated by your levels of self-worth.
Moreover this finding proves that you don’t need to be where you imagine you want to be in order to feel worthy. You feel worthy and the place that you want to be will follow.
It is even more interesting when you realise that science and spirituality are singing from the same hymn sheet when you consider all the information out there about co-creating the universe.
Why is self worth so hard?
The usual suspects are behind the influence of one’s self worth, parents, family, peers, but initially your worth is moulded by the primary caregiver. A parent who persistently finds fault with their child can negatively impact the child’s self esteem and damage their self-worth. They may develop a critical inner voice which communicates a message that they are inadequate, flawed or inferior.
Our self worth is heavily influenced by our parents (or caretakers) attitudes and behaviours.
Constant criticism in early development will result in a negative internal dialogue and will follow them into adulthood. When a child fails to receive positive reinforcement in their early years, this internal self image becomes ingrained.
Self worth then becomes subjected to interactions with peers and wider society when the individual later shifts to interactions outside of the home. Poor self worth is a trigger for anxiety and depression in adulthood. When the foundations of your self esteem is not strong this leads you to seek out extrinsic forms of self worth.
What are the three types of self worth ?
Inherent worth
We are all born with an intrinsic level of self-worth simply because we exist. It’s the recognition that each of us are worthy of love, respect, praise and belonging. It’s an understanding that we have absolutely nothing that we need to do or prove in order to feel worthy. We are worthy – end of story. You have value by virtue of simply being you. In this realisation we accept that while we are no better than others, we also are not inferior to others either. This worth transcends income, class, qualifications, relationship status, popularity, sexual orientation, body type, colour or any of the other societal demarcations.
Expressed worth
This is the type of self-worth we get from our parents, caregivers, teachers, and peers throughout our lives. We pick up expressed self-worth when we are told we are worthy. Due to this type of worth relying on external factors, this model is unstable and prone to fluctuation. Many people use expressed worth as the primary way of measuring their worthiness however, while it is a pleasant reminder when one receives external validation, this should not be a primary source of valuing one’s worth.
Achieved worth
Achieved worth is measured against what we achieve in the world based on our actions, behaviours and efforts in life. Actions that contribute to the completion of tasks, goals, personal development, training and anything that improves the circumstances of ours and others lives. Achieved worth contributes to a sense of worthiness for ourselves based on how we show up within our wider community. This type of self worth informs a person’s character, contributions and is a branch of self-esteem. This self worth increases both internally and externally through each positive accomplishment we complete.
Extrinsic vs Intrinsic Self Worth
Extrinsic self worth is subjective and therefore can change based on external influence. Relying solely on extrinsic worth can be detrimental to our self-esteem and overall well-being. True self-worth comes from within and is not dependent on external validation or societal standards. It is about recognising our unique qualities, strengths, and inherent value as individuals.
When we focus too much on extrinsic worth, we may find ourselves constantly seeking approval from others or feeling inadequate if we don’t meet certain expectations. This can lead to feelings of insecurity and a constant need for validation.
On the other hand, when we cultivate a sense of innate self-worth – valuing ourselves for who we are rather than what we have – we can experience greater confidence, resilience, and fulfillment in life. We learn to appreciate our individuality and embrace our imperfections as part of what makes us unique.
Intrinsic self-worth allows us to set healthy boundaries in relationships, make choices that align with our values and passions, and pursue personal growth without being driven solely by external rewards. It empowers us to define success on our own terms rather than relying on society’s narrow definitions
What is an example of someone with self worth?
Assertiveness is an important characteristic when it comes to managing our relationships. assertiveness ensures boundaries are honoured. it keeps the integrity of our relationships by fostering a sense of order. it is the conduit by which we manage conflict through establishing boundaries. Without boundaries people do not know where they stand, violations will ensue and resentment will naturally be a part of the picture. So the function of assertiveness is managing diffusing and preventing conflict violations and resentments.
Confidence is the result of becoming prolific at something and being very self-assured at one’s own abilities to be able to achieve it. Confidence will come from practicing something and the sense of achievement that ensues as a result of achieving it. Confidence has a magnetising quality because the more a person displays the more trustworthy they will come across. Being around a person with confidence has a soothing effect on people who are experiencing less self-assuredness.
When a person has confidence combined with assertiveness, character, and frame they demonstrate emotional maturity and mental stability. Confidence will allow us to be our best self because safety and security has been embodied so they no longer are acting on survival instincts. People are drawn to a person with presence and confidence.
…Final thoughts!
Knowing your worth is about understanding and appreciating our own inherent value as individuals. While accomplishments and recognition can provide temporary boosts to our self-esteem, true self-worth comes from within.
It is crucial to cultivate a positive self-image by practicing self-care, setting healthy boundaries, and embracing our strengths and weaknesses. By acknowledging our worthiness, we can develop resilience in the face of challenges and maintain a healthy sense of self.
Remember that everyone has unique talents, abilities, and qualities that contribute to the world in their own way. Embrace your individuality, celebrate your accomplishments, and never underestimate the power of your own self-worth. You are deserving of love, respect, and happiness just as you are.
While extrinsic worth may have its place in certain contexts, it is important not to let it overshadow the significance of internal self-worth. By recognizing our inherent value as individuals separate from external factors, we can cultivate a deep sense of self-acceptance and live authentically with confidence.
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