In many ways the independent woman trope is etched into the fabric of every progressive woman’s mind as some kind of utopian feminine superhero because who wouldn’t want to be her?
She’s got her shit together, she has her own agency taking action to solve her own problems, she has her own money, she doesn’t need a man to live well, in fact the man is reduced to a side character in her heroine story, needed only for the occasional itch that needs scratching if you know what I mean, wink wink, nudge nudge!
The independent woman accumulates financial security which is a key component in levelling out the gender playing field.
Independent woman and ambition
When she’s fully fleshed out she’s ambitious, financially secure, a go-getter or a leader. This can be the case in both career and family, but often we see her in the role as a single woman or single parent.
She is empowered and has her origins in the warrioress archetype.
She’s the one we call on when we are disempowered in our femininity. When we have been misled, misguided, abused, or disempowered we call on her. She’s fierce, she’s empowered and she’s not about to take no shit. When she is balanced she is the energy that will lead you to your highest heights on what you set your mind on be that family, education, career, finances, relationship or whatever.
She’s badass and walks the fine and delicate tightrope between masculine and feminine qualities. She doesn’t need to relinquish her feminine qualities to be empowered although she does recognise and play to her masculine strengths such as assertiveness, boundaries, courage, drive, honesty with herself as well as others. This results in a type of magnetism that is as infectious as it is empowering.
But what happens when the independent woman is unbalanced? Or she is unable to ask for or accept support? What happens when she is one dimensional and doesn’t know how to appreciate and lean into her more subtle, softer, nature? What happens when she internalises sexism and views the feminine as weak? Or when she embodies too much yang (masculine) energy and doesn’t know how to pivot and lean into her feminine nature in her relationship? What happens to the independent woman when she is unconsciously competing to be a man?
Independent woman seen in the Warrioress archetype
Best described as the one who protects! She’s a force to be reckoned with inviting us to place safe boundaries around our lives. She empowers and encourages our self esteem and develops our confidence. She is a fighter and will fight to defend your personal values. She’s the archetype that most closely relates to the independent woman, fierce, independent, free, strong.
When we are guided by the warrioress we learn to take responsibility for our actions and do not point fingers or blame others for our circumstances. We learn to say no to what is not good for us and set boundaries in our lives. We release what is toxic and no longer serves us creating agency, taking responsibility for our wellbeing.
The warrioress, though feminine and so inclined towards emotions, does not make decisions based on emotions, but a sound, clear and balanced mind. She allows emotions to be her guide but not her master. She makes a clear distinction between emotions and rationale.
Toughening up – losing our femininity
Modern women are in a position to rival our heavily oppressed female foremothers. With rights to vote, careers both inside and outside the home, access to education, our own businesses, and such we are enjoying the fruits of the rights afforded to us by first and second wave feminism. But has the pendulum swung so far in the opposite direction that we are in danger of degrading the very qualities that make us unique, special, powerful and women?
In every movement over the ages there seems to be a pattern of activism moving too far in one direction before finding a sweet spot and balancing out. Only by recognising and celebrating our differences, our strengths, our weaknesses and the unique contribution that men have made to society, do we begin to see and celebrate our own unique power.
Is it possible to be empowered in a way that is a nod to and celebrates our unique feminine energy?
Evolutionary factors
In general women are inherently feminine and men are masculine, the operative word being ‘general’. However this doesn’t mean we are limited to our base nature. Masculine and feminine energy are not fixed and can also be fluid with each gender having access to both qualities. I like to sum this up by saying that women are more naturally feminine and performative in masculine roles, whilst men are naturally masculine and are performative in feminine roles.
The tendency to emulate and compete with the man in many instances has been about survival but has grown into a deformed growth that has resulted in a phenomena that can only be described as a female-to-male dick measuring contest.
Women have been encouraged by society to sleep around indiscriminately, because this is being characterised as empowerment by 4th wave feminism. However, whilst we assert we can do anything that men can do, we seem to be competing for the degradation of our own feminine virtues.
Historic context
The feminist movement has counted four waves of feminism. The feminist movement started at the end of the 19th century and addressed issues with a very real inequality as it pertains to women’s right to vote. This movement resulted in a radical change to the constitution, these women were the pioneers of change. I can only imagine the push back these women suffered, these women wore the capes!
The second wave of feminism in the 60’s broadened the debate from legal rights to include agency over women’s own lives. These issues ranged from sexuality, reproductive rights, domestic violence, including issues such as marital rape. It challenged the cultural norms of patriarchy and male attitudes related to women inside the work force and at home and society at large.
Third wave feminism began in the 1990’s and needed to refine what feminism was, whilst fourth wave feminism was supposed to begin in 2012 until current times.
Fourth wave seeks greater equality from gender inequality in the workplace in the form of sexual harassment, the objectification of women and sexism in the workplace.
Conclusion
Some progressive women seem to have internalised the sexist ideology that to be a woman is to be weaker than or lesser than men. This has led to a society of women keen to prove their masculinity all the while discounting men’s very significant contribution to society. Incorporating masculine traits designed to protect us from sexist male attitudes is the beginning of, but not the final destination.
Some of the toxic elements of feminine gender roles such as being too submissive, being unable to assert ourselves or being unable to make important decisions, need to be revamped, when the situation calls for it. Equally we must remember to be natural and proud of our nature, after all, are we are not unashamedly, unapologetically, proud to be a women?
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