Validation is an essential aspect of our lives, providing us with the reassurance and confidence we often seek. In various contexts, validation serves as a powerful tool for acknowledging our experiences, emotions, and achievements. Whether it’s in personal relationships or professional settings, validation plays a crucial role in fostering understanding and empathy.
In today’s fast-paced world, where we are constantly bombarded with information and opinions, the need for validation becomes even more significant. We long to be heard and understood amidst the noise of competing voices. Validating someone’s thoughts or feelings can create a deep sense of connection and support.
Furthermore, validation also extends to the realm of ideas and innovations. When developing new concepts or pursuing groundbreaking endeavors, having our ideas validated can fuel our motivation and push us forward. It confirms that we are on the right track and encourages us to continue exploring uncharted territories.
However, it is important to note that seeking validation should not be confused with seeking approval or external validation as a measure of self-worth. True validation comes from within; it is about acknowledging our own strengths, accomplishments, and growth.
Validation and Boundaries
On the journey towards becoming an empowered woman you can be met with many challenges, some of those challenges will come from those who are the closest to you whether that be children, partners, exes, colleagues, neighbours, the list goes on.
Your Sacred No
As women we are expected to be sugar and spice and all things nice! There’s an unspoken expectation that we are to be agreeable and not to rock the boat too much. There’s even science that backs up the claim that our genetics our wired this way for survival. We are the naturally more accommodating of the two genders, this is even more evident if we become mothers and our naturally giving nature is consistently active. But what happens when we experience the shadow side of this nature? When we find ourselves exploited at the hands of predatory, controlling and or narcissistic behaviours?
It’s too often the case that we give to the point of our own detriment as we do not include ourselves in the exhaustive list of people we are in service to. You cannot pour from an empty cup, goes the saying, and so in reality we should practice conscious selfishness by placing ourselves at top of the exhaustive list, and eventually with time and experiences we learn to do just that, we learn to honour our sacred no.
Often this is the moment that you become privy to the tyrant. This person feels entitled to your energy, your time, your devotion and when they do not get what they want there is hell to pay for it. This person is the reason why too often we say yes when we really should be screaming FUCK NO!
Aside from our children, who are naturally egocentric and are also wired to be this way for survival, the adults in our lives who love and care about us, are meant to respect our sacred no.
When you find yourself in a situation where you find that a person is walking all over your boundaries, it feels intuitive to submit to there demands, this is exactly the moment that you need to put a boundary in place and say no.
Let’s say you are wrong about telling said person no, use this opportunity to assess their reaction to your no, observe their response to your sacred no, you can tell a lot about a person in these moments.
You may be lucky enough to discover a tyrant in your midst. This is the type of person that would’ve siphoned your giving nature. They would’ve pitched a claim on your energy and would be using your agreeable nature against you. This person can come neatly packaged as the doting neighbour that lays their ‘helping’ on thick, the covert predatory partner that understands your desire for union, the demanding old friend that doesn’t understand the production that you take on every time you have to meet their unrealistic needs.
They usually make themselves detectable once you decide to say no. When you put your boundary in place, you may find yourself the victim of their attacks, grudges or smear campaigns and that can be confusing when in your mind you are still attached to the idea that this person was for you. The sooner you realise that the tyrant can infiltrate under the guise of those closest to you, the sooner you can protect your energy.
