Have you ever walked into a space and felt the unspoken codes at play? The quiet tension between elegance and performance, between being admired and being free? This story isn’t just about two women passing in a foyer…it’s about what happens when women refuse to play the game.
When Feminine Energy Becomes Your Power
That day, I put on a big white floppy hat… the kind that spoke of quiet elegance… and I noticed how the brim curved just enough to veil my gaze, which somehow made me feel more seen. I paired it with a blush pink fitted top, some pink sandals, and a pair of casual jeans that hugged my hips.
I wasn’t dressing for anyone else. I chose this because I was in my “soft girl era”. I was done performing strength. My shoulders had dropped in a way they hadn’t for years. I was breathing differently. I no longer wanted to tango with the survivor. This was the era in my path where I laid down my sword. I was no longer ashamed of my softness.
(Related: Loosening the Grip on the Survivor Archetype: Rediscovering Our Full Selves)
As I looked in the mirror before I left, I remember thinking: I really had shed a version of myself that had to prove she was strong to feel respected. I saw casual refinement reflected back, the kind that no longer had anything to prove. The kind that knew who she was.
There was something about the way the pink, the denim, and the hat came together that made me feel like I was the woman I had been waiting for.
Feminine Energy in Elegant Environments
We arrived at a beautiful manor that had been converted into a hotel, restaurant, and gardens. It was the kind of venue that grew its own food. It had dark wooden beams that held secrets from as far back as the 17th century. Grand fireplaces, antique mirrors, and gargoyles.
It smelt like old money.
The way the light came through the windows made everything feel as if we had been transported to the 1600s…
I found myself filming, not to prove anything, but because I appreciate history, culture, and beauty.
I used to feel like I needed to act unimpressed to belong in spaces like this. But this time, I had nothing to prove. That kind of performative refinement belonged to a former self.
Feminine Power Dynamics in Everyday Moments
She stepped out as I stepped into the foyer, as if the field wanted us to brush past each other just long enough to mirror.
She was an older woman dressed in an ivory two-piece crushed silk set… it was a texture and colour that is currently active in my field. She wore pops of colour in her jewellery, and her outfit was a nonverbal statement that spoke of money and elegance.
But I notice energy, and hers felt contradictory. As I took in her outfit, waiting for my invitation to express appreciation, she averted her eyes.
She didn’t look at me, and yet I sensed that she was all too aware of me.
The silence between us was not neutral. It was charged with distortion.
Distorted vs Embodied Feminine Energy
And this is where something subtle but powerful began to shift.
Immediately, I recognised something in her behaviour, something I used to do when I wanted to maintain my fragile self-concept.
It was a subtle power game. The kind that says: if I don’t acknowledge you, I’ve won some unspoken game… If I don’t acknowledge you, I out-elegance you… I am superior.
A shadow version of me wanted to criticise myself for feeding her ego by giving her my gaze, as I knew all too well what this dynamic was. A small part of me was aware that in this game, you must perform refinement… not film, or show that you’re impressed by such a beautifully curated space.
But underneath that, I knew those thought processes belonged to an old paradigm. They belonged to the distortion… an overlay over realities… where hierarchy matters, where the feminine is wounded and competes. I was now in the chamber where the feminine belonged to an organic spiral.
The Freedom of Embodied Feminine Energy
What changed in me that day was that the game of pretending not to see someone was no longer present in my field. I saw her. She saw me. But she needed my gaze to feel worthy. I no longer required external markers.
I didn’t need to shrink or react. I just carried on with what I was doing.
I held my centre. I stayed in my body. I didn’t need to play the game of becoming smaller, or inflating myself.
And in that moment, I realised: this is what it means to be free of the distortions that used to govern my reality.
Magnetism Through Non-Performative Radiance
There was a quiet magnetism around me, and I wasn’t forcing it. I was just a woman who was comfortable in the energy of softness that comes from non-performative radiance.
I was being witnessed, but I didn’t feel consumed. I felt beautiful.
This was the field of natural attraction, not manipulation, not performance. Just energy that is deeply at home in itself.
Feminine Energy and the Archetype of the Ice Queen
This wasn’t about beauty. It was about the wounding in the feminine collective consciousness.
I realised then that real elegance doesn’t need to pretend… it just is.
Her behaviour may have looked feminine, but to me it felt like the archetype of the Ice Queen.
(More in: 11 Powerful Dark Feminine Archetypes & Their Meanings)
She is cool, controlled, untouchable. She is polished, poised, and immaculate… but underneath, she is starving for acknowledgment. She confuses image with presence. She may be feminine-essenced, but hasn’t yet moved into embodying her feminine energy and is still performing the hard edges of the wounded masculine.
She silently withholds, which gives her the illusion of power. The Ice Queen holds power through detachment and selective acknowledgment.
She needs to be seen… but never too closely. She commands admiration, but does not return it. She protects her value by being the exception, never the equal.
This is often a response to early wounding around being objectified, overlooked, or having to earn love through perfection or performance.
When the Ice Queen meets a woman who is:
- grounded
- radiant without performing
- generous in presence
- and no longer playing power games…She is disarmed.
But rather than softening, she often withholds harder… because your warmth threatens her carefully structured mask.
(Related: How to Embody Divine Feminine Energy for Success in Love & Life)
Redefining Worth Through Feminine Energy
I’m leaving behind the part of me that needs to compete to feel seen.
I’m no longer feeding the belief that radiance needs to be measured by hierarchy.
Worth, to me now, means raising both the ceiling and the floor on what you believe you’re deserving of… without losing yourself to hierarchy.
And that day, I knew: I no longer needed to be admired to feel worthy. I already was.
Further Reading:
How to Stop Playing Power Games and Reclaim Feminine Sovereignty
Why Real Elegance Doesn’t Need to Perform
About the Author
Claire is a writer, intuitive healer, and mystic weaving the feminine through story, ritual, and lived experience. Through her blog she shares sacred insights on spiritual growth, personal power, and the soul’s deep remembering. Her work is rooted in Earth wisdom, emotional depth, and the kind of tenderness that transforms. She believes magic is not something we find, but something we uncover within ourselves.
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